went shopping today to try to find some NICE shirts to wear with my five new bowties (FIVE!).
and let me tell you why i hated it.
so, i went to the dressy men’s section of a department store, where all the ties and suits and nice dress shirts are. oh, the shirts were so nice, so soft, so many colors!!! and so many measurements! surely they’ll have something to fit a small-ish dapper lady like me!
the smallest neck measurement in any of their shirts was 14 1/2. it’s about an inch (maybe 1.5) too big to be perfect for my neck wearing a bowtie. the smallest sleeve measurement is 32/33, whatever that means. not too bad, but a 28 or 30 would be better. and even with the smallest shirts, the chest measurements were definitely too big. FAILURE #1
well, off to the little boy’s section, right? a little boy’s large was perfect in the chest (for my small endowment), and even the sleeves were right! but alas, the neck was still too big. it bunched up when i tied a bowtie around it. tried a little boy’s medium. and lo and behold, the neck is perfect! BUT the chest is too small, and i’d have to go with short sleeves. FAILURE #2
surely, they must have plain white button-up shirts in the women’s department of the store, right? there are plenty of business ladies who need a plain shirt under their jacket, right? well, not at this store, they didn’t. not one single button-up shirt that didn’t have ruffles or patterns or something sewn in. i barely found any with collars, period. FAILURE #3
how do people do it??
i hate shopping. my desired style simply does not exist in the sizes i need. our bodies are so diverse! i’m sure that so many people are frustrated by this every day, at all ends of the size spectrum, at all ends of the gender spectrum. screw you, department store, and your lack of sizes that match my vision.
«and a side note. when I was young, my mom always noted (lamented? unclear.) that i would go to the boys section of any clothing store, almost immediately. perhaps she didn’t realize that it wasn’t that i felt like i was a boy, i just wanted to be dapper!»
The moon is backing away from us an inch and a half each year. That means if you’re like me and were born around fifty years ago the moon was a full six feet closer to the earth. What’s a person supposed to do? I feel the gray cloud of consternation travel across my face. I begin thinking